Women Who Sabotage Other Women

It's uncomfortable for me to take a negative view on an issue, particularly if it relates to women and our relationships in business. But here it is: women can really sabotage each other, and worse, themselves.

Two instances come to mind recently. The first entails a woman whom I've encountered occassionally in business dealings. She is so threatened by others that she spends an inordinate amount of time telling everyone how great her skills are: at marketing, at writing, at managing, at speaking. Everything is about how great she is.

She is so focused on how great she is, she either undermines others around her or dismisses their needs as less important or unimportant to her own priorities. "Thank you" is not in her vocabulary. Unfortunately, she has a blind spot about her own abilities. The impact on others is that they start to operate around her rather than with her.

The other situation entails a woman who has repeatedly attempted to wedge her way into working with one of her "competitor's" best clients. She has tried to go in back door, front door, any way possible to get this business. Is her approach to be admired for her perseverance or disdained because she would be willing to sabotage a fellow female professional?

There is alot of business to be had out there. Yes, even in a down economy, there is a vast amount of opportunity. At the end of the day, it's a choice. Women have the opportunity to build each other up, or tear each other down.
I wonder if our own insecurities and lack of confidence, financial fears, sometimes prompt us to behave in destructive ways.

I believe more often than not, women are way above this kind of behavior. Am I wearing rose colored glasses?

What do you think?

Shifting Careers - Proof Positive

Fortunately, I stumbled upon Marci Alboher's blog in the New York Times, Shifting Careers (http://shiftingcareers.blogs.nytimes.com/). Here's a former corporate attorney-turned-bloggist and author of a best-selling book, “One Person/Multiple Careers: A New Model for Work/Life Success” (Warner Books, 2007). I know many professional women, quite a number of them professionals in law firms, cpa firms, and other arenas of accomplishment, who dream of leaving positions and companies and starting new ventures, tapping into their creativity, and creating the kind of life Marci has. I don't blame them. I once was one of them. I used to go to my senior level corporate job every day, dreading it, doing the minimum, counting the hours until the weekend. Lunch hours would be teary experiences, walking the streets of NYC holding imaginary conversations with my boss, telling him I was quitting, starting a new venture, but never having the guts to actually do it. I had NO IDEA what I wanted to do, and worse, what I was capable of doing other than what I had been doing for the last 20 years (strategizing and developing brassiere product lines for well known brands most of you are still wearing!)

Marci is an example that shifting careers and life truly can be done. I've been reading her postings and feeling as though she knows me personally. She sheds light on the issues I've personally lived. I had no idea that I could start a business and that by doing so I would become coach, consultant, slash writer slash speaker slash internet business owner.

What about you? Do you yearn for more, for different? For living your life on purpose? Do you dream about writing that book and simply cannot see how you would ever accomplish that while working full time AND raising those two adorable children AND trying desperately to get a stolen hour or two to get your hair colored or a yoga class in every month or two?

Check out Marci's blog. If she did it, and I did it, so can you. Was it hard? Absolutely. Was it scary? Without question. Did I regret that I shifted careers? Never. Not once. I have never been so fulfilled and so grateful that I was finally willing to earn less until I could earn more, take the scary path, live on less, so that I could move forward and make a difference for others while growing in ways I never could have imagined.

What's your dream? If you share it, it is almost certain one of our fellow female colleagues has one very similar to yours, and needs to hear about yours so so that she will have the courage to take action and live her life with purpose, prosperity, and possibility.