Ambition: A Four Letter Word for Women?

I know, I haven't blogged for a long while. I've been very busy building something brand new and very, very exciting. I am about to transition AGAIN! and while I'm not giving up my current business, I am embarking on a new journey into unchartered waters. Marci Alboher, of the New York Times blog, Shifting Careers ,(http://www.shiftingcareers.blogs.nytimes.com/) would say I am a business coach slash entrepreneur. Yes, I am truly entering the domain of entrepreneurship making it an excellent time to reread Michael Gerber's The E-Myth Revisited (http://www.emythrevisited.com/). I will be sharing more about this new venture in late June, early July, so stay tuned.

So, what does all of this have to do with the title of my post? I'll digress for a bit. Last week, I attended a panel discussion of 4 women - two very successful women, each mothers of a grown daughter. Both of these daughters are successful in their own right. These moms shared their experiences and stories about how they created very successful professional careers while being successful as mothers. These daughters shared their experiences and views about having working career moms, and how that contributed to where they are in their lives, professionally and personally. A true generational expose.

Powerful stuff, because all these women were proof that stay-at-home momming is not the only way to raise well-adjusted, happy, and productive children. It might be one way, but it is not essential. A woman who wants to work AND raise children can do so effectively. What was impressive also is that one of these mothers was a SINGLE mom as well as a WORKING mom. The secret according to her: A great NETWORK of people in her life to help with the care of her daughter when necessary.
Another example of how important your NETWORK is.

I saw HOPE and INSPIRATION written on the faces of the attendees to this panel discussion because they felt that they were not alone in feeling the guilt sometimes accompanying the necessity and/or the desire to have a career while raising children. And they learned that guilt is not a necessity. Women who choose or need to work are just as capable of giving their children great skills and lives as moms who choose to stay at home. And women really a great disservice by judging each other for the path they choose.

So what does any of this have to do with the title of this post - Ambition:A Four Letter Word For Women?

The moderator of the discussion, Debra Condren, who blogs at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/debra-condren-phd/ask-anything-ambitchous-_b_39225.html, and is the author of the book AmBitchous, talked about the issue of women being criticized for having a desire for accomplishment and success in their professional lives, while men are acknowledged and honored for the same desire.

I am an AMBITIOUS woman. I always have been. A friend of mine long ago once told me "You have a fire in your belly." How right she was. I just simply want to create and accomplish alot before I turn the switch of my life off.

I didn't start really coming into my own until the age of 50. And now I have the desire, the experience, and more importantly, the willingness to RISK and to FAIL in order to take a quantum leap forward in creating something powerful.

I support all women who choose to take on new challenges, risk failure, and raise the bar on themselves. I hope you see your AMBITION as a beautiful part of your evolution as a person and as a woman.

And please comment and share your stories of your AMBITION - be an inspiration to others!

Women Who Sabotage Other Women

It's uncomfortable for me to take a negative view on an issue, particularly if it relates to women and our relationships in business. But here it is: women can really sabotage each other, and worse, themselves.

Two instances come to mind recently. The first entails a woman whom I've encountered occassionally in business dealings. She is so threatened by others that she spends an inordinate amount of time telling everyone how great her skills are: at marketing, at writing, at managing, at speaking. Everything is about how great she is.

She is so focused on how great she is, she either undermines others around her or dismisses their needs as less important or unimportant to her own priorities. "Thank you" is not in her vocabulary. Unfortunately, she has a blind spot about her own abilities. The impact on others is that they start to operate around her rather than with her.

The other situation entails a woman who has repeatedly attempted to wedge her way into working with one of her "competitor's" best clients. She has tried to go in back door, front door, any way possible to get this business. Is her approach to be admired for her perseverance or disdained because she would be willing to sabotage a fellow female professional?

There is alot of business to be had out there. Yes, even in a down economy, there is a vast amount of opportunity. At the end of the day, it's a choice. Women have the opportunity to build each other up, or tear each other down.
I wonder if our own insecurities and lack of confidence, financial fears, sometimes prompt us to behave in destructive ways.

I believe more often than not, women are way above this kind of behavior. Am I wearing rose colored glasses?

What do you think?

Shifting Careers - Proof Positive

Fortunately, I stumbled upon Marci Alboher's blog in the New York Times, Shifting Careers (http://shiftingcareers.blogs.nytimes.com/). Here's a former corporate attorney-turned-bloggist and author of a best-selling book, “One Person/Multiple Careers: A New Model for Work/Life Success” (Warner Books, 2007). I know many professional women, quite a number of them professionals in law firms, cpa firms, and other arenas of accomplishment, who dream of leaving positions and companies and starting new ventures, tapping into their creativity, and creating the kind of life Marci has. I don't blame them. I once was one of them. I used to go to my senior level corporate job every day, dreading it, doing the minimum, counting the hours until the weekend. Lunch hours would be teary experiences, walking the streets of NYC holding imaginary conversations with my boss, telling him I was quitting, starting a new venture, but never having the guts to actually do it. I had NO IDEA what I wanted to do, and worse, what I was capable of doing other than what I had been doing for the last 20 years (strategizing and developing brassiere product lines for well known brands most of you are still wearing!)

Marci is an example that shifting careers and life truly can be done. I've been reading her postings and feeling as though she knows me personally. She sheds light on the issues I've personally lived. I had no idea that I could start a business and that by doing so I would become coach, consultant, slash writer slash speaker slash internet business owner.

What about you? Do you yearn for more, for different? For living your life on purpose? Do you dream about writing that book and simply cannot see how you would ever accomplish that while working full time AND raising those two adorable children AND trying desperately to get a stolen hour or two to get your hair colored or a yoga class in every month or two?

Check out Marci's blog. If she did it, and I did it, so can you. Was it hard? Absolutely. Was it scary? Without question. Did I regret that I shifted careers? Never. Not once. I have never been so fulfilled and so grateful that I was finally willing to earn less until I could earn more, take the scary path, live on less, so that I could move forward and make a difference for others while growing in ways I never could have imagined.

What's your dream? If you share it, it is almost certain one of our fellow female colleagues has one very similar to yours, and needs to hear about yours so so that she will have the courage to take action and live her life with purpose, prosperity, and possibility.

100 Women in Hedge Funds

I attended a wonderful event for women the other evening. The weather was awful (a literal blizzard). I considered bagging it, but very glad I persevered. I met a terrific group of women at The 100 Women In Hedge Funds (www.100womeninhedgefunds.org ). The topic, delivered in panel format:
Communicating Powerfully For Women. About 65 women attended, open wine bar, and heard some very successful women in a relatively male-dominated arena share their success secrets for how to present themselves powerfully.

Here's what I got: speak directly, speak professionally vs. emotionally (even though men are emotional themselves and don't realize it), advocate for yourself, and have female mentors who have paved the way before you.

I also realized that while women enjoyed this event, they were eager for more time on the subject, and wanted more personalized information.

Check out the web site for upcoming educational events. The events are free, but you must rsvp. And they close out quickly! so act fast.

How Women Network Differently

Sitting with two wonderful female colleagues at lunch recently presenced for me how differently women network.

I had introduced these two women because I had a sense that they definitely could do business together, but I also thought they would like each other. I am not sure men think of whether two men they bring together will find each other appealing. The bond is about the business. With women it's about the BOND and the business.

We sat down to lunch and one of the women immediately commented on the other woman's earrings. She loved them and needed a pair just like these for an important occasion. They launched into a half-hour conversation about jewelry, clothing, shopping, where they each grew up, family, children.

Then they got down to business.

I just smiled and enjoyed.

They have since made a shopping date. And oh yes, they have referred business to each other.