5 Reasons Why Women Make Better Rainmakers - And Why They Don't Get More Business

Women are the world's relationship builders. It's in our nature.

Ever watch little girls on the playground? They sort things out by talking or negotiating with each other. As they approach puberty, they will spend hours gabbing and texting on their phones. Relating is of primary importance.

Little boys, on the other hand, duke it out, and once they have physically addressed their grievances, forget the incident as if it never happened. Friends again with nary a thought to the conflict. Nothing is ever discussed.

As boys mature, they use sports and work as topics of conversation, without much depth as to the why or wherefore of a situation. They bond through team sports, either through direct involvement, or spectator involvement. Men fuel the sports entertainment industry because they don't really have an alternative method of creating bonds with other men. Through involvement with teams sports, and professional associations, men develop a network early on, often maintaining these contacts for years.

Girls, on the other hand, stay with one or two close friends, (at most, an inner circle of 3-4 select friends) and don't concentrate on building a wider net. Their relationship-building skills within this circle are powerful, albeit utilized within a smaller arena.

Women have the power to build effective relationships with colleagues, prospects, and clients, yet they often see their male counterparts as more capable of being the "real" rainmakers of the world.

In the last two months, there have been a series of articles in major publications addressing the power of professional women: Crains published the 100 Most Powerful Women in New York (http://www.crains.com/)
the Wall Street Journal published the 50 Women to Watch article (http://www.wsj.com/) and the magazine Pink (http://www.pinkmagazine.com/) published Pink's Top 50 Women Business Owners in the November/December issue. Pink also featured the article, Your Network is Your Net Worth in this same issue.

So here are the 5 reasons why women make better rainmakers and why they don't get more business:
1. They love to communicate but they don't want to sound like a salesperson
2. They want to be strong and powerful, but are concerned about appearing "bitchy"
3. They know they may have to work harder than male counterparts to prove themselves, but think this is unfair (tip: life isn't fair, get over it)
4. They have excellent relationship building skills but use male methods to advance and get clients or new business (doesn't really work - just turns men off)
5. They really have all the goods and smarts to become exceptional rainmakers but don't have enough confidence or believe in themselves. (This is often true of men as well as women.) This calls for a mindset shift.

In the last decade, women have certainly become more prevalent in the "sales" world. If we look at the professional services world, we see many women professionals but significantly fewer "rainmakers."
I speak to many women who view men being naturally stronger in this area. How unfortunate that we women so easily under-leverage our natural strengths in the relationship-building area, the very strengths that contribute to success in rainmaking and attracting business.

It's time for us to shift our perception of ourselves and live into our true abilities to foster connections, simultaneously attracting new clients and servicing them with skill and senstivity.